Watch the video HERE!
Here’s what the equation looks like for a perfectionist:
- Set a goal
- Make a plan
- Execute plan
- Go off the plan (in other words – NOT be perfect)
- Kick yourself, beat yourself up, feel badly
- Never get back on the plan because you are exhausted from all the emotional beatings (this is the part where you tell yourself you don’t really care – but you do, your just tired
Clearly, this does not and will not work.
Here’s the same equation minus the perfectionism:
- Set a goal
- Make a plan
- Execute plan
- Go off the plan (in other words – NOT be perfect)
- Observe, adjust, extend love and patience to yourself
- Keeping moving forward and reach your goals
Can you see why being a perfectionist does not work?
It’s inevitable that you will at some point go off your plan and being a perfectionist does not leave any room for flexibility.
Remember that plans are ultimately guidelines to help you create a deeper more intimate relationship with you and your body and NOT the end-all-be-all. We need to maintain flexibility within our plans if we really want to do them for the rest of our lives.
So onward I march with my 2013 goals of being my leanest, strongest, healthiest self continuously reminding myself to check my perfectionist at the door and stay calm, loving, flexible, and patient with myself.
Do you suffer from perfectionism? And if so what habits/behaviors can you start to practice TODAY to help you reach your fitness and health plans while leaving your perfectionist at the door?
For some more thoughts on this topic, be sure to watch my video HERE.
Sarah says
I have done the same thing to myself for years. Start exercise goal miss a day or two beat self up until I’ve convinced myself I don’t have the time to exercise since I can’t do it all the time. Instead I’ve complimenting myself for the exercising I did do! Now I’ve chosen not to make a plan any more complex then eat healthy as often as possible and workout as often as I can and whatever kind of workout interests me that day. Basically taking one day at a time. If I only have enough time to do a 10 min ab workout or time to do 30-60 min cardio, I do whatever the day allows and compliment myself on doing something!! and not feeling defeated. And there are still days that through the whole workout I’m fighting my brain saying you can’t do this while I’m doing it!! Heck there was a day I worked 17 hours straight came home and did 10 mins of abs and kept my eyes closed the whole time pretending to be sleeping LOL!I’m 24 and I work work work work work so there’s not always alot of time for myself but I make it!
Dani says
Great points Sarah. It’s so important to compliment ourselves for what we DO do. Our brains love to migrate to the negative so keeping them focused is half the battle;).
Tiffany Bastian says
I just went through an episode of this last night. Today is myfresh day. The funny part is when I look around me my not being perfect doesnt matter to anyone..my husband…my kids…family…friends…I know they not perfect either so why is it I feel I have to be?
I just want to be perfectly happy…
Debra Terry says
You give great inspiration Sarah and Dani! We all need to be reminded of that “beating up” thing we do to ourselves. I am going to try and leave my perfectionism at the door the rest of this week. I agree we can find some time in a day to do SOMETHING no matter how busy, even if its 10 minutes. If we do even just a little exercise routine, we feel so much better. I have always liked the saying, “Someone busier than you is working out right now.” LOL. It gets me motivated and back on plan.
Helen says
I agree with Debra. Someone busier than you is working out right now! I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that she had decided to rewrite the saying, A job worth doing is worth doing well, to, A job worth doing is worth doing badly. We can always do better but we will never give ourselves the chance to do better until we start to do something.
Laura says
Thank you for this post! I have struggled with perfectionism with losing weight/getting healthy for most of my adult life and have yo-yo’d constantly. I’m actually there right now. Last year at this time, I had lost 50+ lbs and had ran my first ever 5K. Now, here I am, back at the weight I was prior to that and disappointed in myself daily. I know that it’s not right, but I still feel like I have to be perfect. If I “mess up”, then I throw out any plans I have to continue and eat everything in site. It’s the all or nothing mentality, and I don’t know how to not be that way. I desperately desire to have the strength to forgive myself when I eat something I shouldn’t or skip a workout, and then continue on to the goal instead of throwing away all I’ve already worked for. Thank you again for this post. Because of this, I don’t feel alone in this struggle.