As most of you already know, I really struggled with my weight any body image for many years. I would say the thick of it started when I was around 12 or 13 years old and then continued to be a constant struggle until I was about 30’s (and just to put that into perspective, I am currently 41).
The funny thing is that my struggle with weight and body image is what lead me to do what I do today, so in many ways, I’m super grateful for the journey. Had I not wanted to lose weight, I would have never gone on to study fitness, integrative nutrition, weight loss, or food psychology.
So needless to say, healthy eating and sustainable weight loss are topics that are very near and dear to my heart and something that I understand from the inside out.
So today I am sharing 5 steps that helped me switch from a dieters mentality that constantly kept me in the loop of losing and gaining weight and jumping from one diet to the next to where I am today; a Mom of two who loves her body and her food and has maintained a 20 pound weight loss for over two years and through two pregnancies.
Diets are a guide line, not a rulebook
While diets can be extremely helpful and informative they don’t work without YOU! As a dieter, I always thought that I was the problem and the diet (whichever one I was on at the time) was the solution. So I would get very uptight and very strict and try very hard to follow the rules of the diet to a T.
But inevitably, I would eat something that either wasn’t on the diet or too much of something that was on the diet and then label myself a failure.
I would leave myself out of the equation and then when I couldn’t stick to the diet I automatically concluded that there was something wrong with me and never considered that maybe that diet didn’t work for me, or that I would need to tweak a few things to make it a better fit.
Remember, diets are just guidelines and you have to check in with yourself to tweak and adjust where needed.
FOCUS ON QUALITY, NOT CALORIES
I was very focused on calories and what I needed to eliminate or restrict from my diet, which always left me feeling deprived and frustrated (and in retrospect led to a lot of binge eating).
Once I learned to switch my focus from calories to quality I found myself looking at food in a whole new way. Instead of always focusing on what I needed to eliminate, I began looking for new, delicious, nutritious foods that I could incorporate. This was a complete shift of perspective and really made ‘healthy eating’ feel super fun and very delicious. This definitely got me trying new ingredients and cooking a lot more.
STOP EXERCISING TO LOSE WEIGHT
For the longest time, I exercised for one reason and one reason only; and that was to lose weight.
I didn’t pay much attention to whether or not I actually enjoyed the exercise, I usually just tried to do the exercise that was suppose to burn the most calories or help to lose weight the fastest. It usually just took a couple of weeks before I would decide it wasn’t really working so what was the point any way? So of course, I’d quit.
Until one day I decided, I was going to do exercise that I enjoyed and made me feel good simply because I enjoyed it made me feel good. No exchange, no trade off. I just committed that whether or not my body changed, I was going to move my body because it feels good.
You have to remember that anything you don’t enjoy will be very difficult to sustainable. The key to long term results is consistency, and you wont be consistent, if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing.
Swap Willpower for Awareness
For me willpower always felt like I was working against myself. It was like I wanted to change my weight so badly… so desperately, that I never felt like I had the time to understand it, I just wanted to fix it.
So I would try and push and will my way to the finish line but that always felt SO hard and it never got me very far before I would eventually throw in the towel.
Eventually, I realized that the reason it felt as hard as it did, was because I wasn’t really paying attention. I wasn’t slowing down enough to notice what I needed when I needed it or how I needed it. I was always so busy pushing that I was never listening.
So, I began to practice more awareness. Simply paying attention to what was an wasn’t working for me. What I enjoyed and what I didn’t.
Admittedly, in order to do this, I really had to ACCEPT where I was and surrender the need to FIX myself. But that’s an entirely different conversation!
Know the Difference between Physical + Emotional Hunger
This ties into onto number four because in order to recognize the difference between the two, I had to be practicing awareness.
Once I was able to distinguish the difference between physical and emotional hunger, I then began to practice meeting my emotional needs without food.
And thats not to say that I never eat emotionally anymore, because I do. But now it doesn’t feel like its happening to me. If I choose to do it, its with awareness.
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Comments
Mackenzie says
This was exactly the video that I needed to watch. Over the last two years since getting married I have gained just over 10 lbs. I have struggled so much with this and I am constantly saying I will “try harder” or “have more willpower” to succeed only to keep on being disappointed. Up until last week I had been counting calories, and I have made a conscious decision to stop and just focus on when my body is hungry and eating foods that fuel my body well. Of course I still want to lose the 10 lbs, but I want to do it in a way loves and honors my body. Your videos are such an encouragement to me!
Dani says
Good for you, Mackenzie. I’m so glad you are choosing to take the road of love and honor. XO
Donna says
I wish you were my health and wellness coach. Ex smoker and need to get rid of 40 lbs. Now I am still 200, work in an office, and 64 years old. Retirement is in 21 months and would love to be as healthy as I could be. So glad I found you this morning. I
Dani says
Well, I’m so glad to have you here!!
Jeneen says
I truly enjoyed this. I have been very overweight due to having thyroid cancer plus using food as a way to cope. Anyway, I found myself at 250 pounds. I was very unhappy and remember saying I have got to do something cause I am going to die from this weight if I don’t. That began my second battle for my life. I totally want to learn all I can about true nutrition not only for me but also for my family. I appreciate everything you share for I truly am learning.
Dani says
I’m so glad to know the info has been helpful for you Jeneen! Keep on filling your cup! #yougotthis
Aggie says
Hi Dani, i “found” you About 2 weeks ago. (I’m from the south of Netherlands) so, i made a few oatmealbakerecipes. We like that very much. Perfect filling or grap away. Next i would like to try Your brownrice recipe.
I’m 58 years old, not too fat but a few kg off would be nice.
winterfat 🙁 i recently found yoga, i think i like that, and of course my cubebike wich i bought last summer. But all of that keeping aside.
Dani, i’m very glad i found you, your not impose (saying that right?) most of dietingsite do! You’re not! Keep going with all the things you want to share.
Dani says
Hi Aggie! So happy to have you here. Keeping following what FEELS good, that’s the key to good health. xo
Harvey Lee says
Nice guidance! We can achieve our weight loss goal easily by changing our lifestyle. I will definitely follow your blog. Thanks and keep sharing.
Dani says
So glad it is helpful Harvey! I plan to share more soon.
Mia says
It’s inspiring to hear your journey and how it led you to embrace a healthier lifestyle. Your insights on focusing on quality over calorie-counting and exercising for enjoyment rather than just weight loss resonate deeply with me. Thank you for sharing your valuable experience and tips!
Dani Spies says
I’m so glad the tips were helpful!
JoBerrie says
I’m struggling since having my thyroid removed due to cancer, I’ve gained so much weight. I found you on YouTube. I have been trying to follow the Mediterranean way of eating but struggle. Your words of kindness and wisdom are just what I need. I feel old and I’m embarrassed to look the way I do.