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Overeating is an interesting topic. Many people think they overeat simply because they have no discipline or willpower. I want to suggest that overeating has nothing to do with these things. As a matter of fact, overeating is not a problem; it is a symptom of something else that is going on for you. So let’s look at overeating in a whole new light and explore some other possibilities.
6 Reasons You May Be Overeating:
- Lack of awareness. Simply put, you are not eating when you eat. In other words, you do not pay attention to your meal and therefore miss out on the eating experience. If the brain does not register pleasure and nourishment from a meal, it will say, “HUNGRY”. This message will cause you to keep eating even though the physical hunger has gone. What you are now hungry for is your own attention.
- Meal skipping. This one is simple, but true nonetheless. Think of your appetite like a pendulum that it is aligned with your physical appetite (vs. the mental appetite). If the pendulum swings to far in one direction (i.e. not eating or skipping meals) it is bound by nature to swing back the other way (and when it does, it will be with vengeance). You may be clever, but at the end of the day you cannot outsmart your body, no matter how hard you try.
- Attempting to de-stress. Within 30 seconds of chewing and eating food there is a chemical reponse in the body, which puts the body into an automatic relaxation response. If you don’t practice using other tools for de-stressing (i.e. breathing, walking, calling a friend, journaling, etc.) eating food will provide you with a quick ticket to ‘destination relaxation’.
- Feeling ungrounded. Sometimes when we have something going on in life that creates big feelings inside of us or if we are in a state of transition, vulnerability, or unknown; eating more food will help create the experience of feeling more grounded. Remember, feelings are simply vibrations in the body, so eating more food and ‘weighing’ yourself down helps to ease the intensity of an intense feeling.
- Numbing Out. Ever have a feeling, circumstance, situation, etc. in your life that you just don’t feel like looking at or dealing with? Well overeating is a great distraction and once you are done overeating you can now direct all your attention to why you shouldn’t have done that, yet again distracting yourself from the main issue. It’s ok to not want to deal with your feelings sometimes BUT if you are going to give yourself a label, be truthful. You are not “an overeater’ you are simply “a person that doesn’t feel like feeling your feelings at that time”. And that’s ok.
- Lack of Pleasure. When we do not receive enough pleasure in our lives we tend to reach for symbolic substitutes. Eating some of your favorite foods can provide temporary pleasurable experiences. Use them when you choose. Receive the pleasure they are giving you. Then move on.
As you can see, none of these causes of overeating can be ‘managed’ or remedied by trying to ‘control’ or ‘restrict’ your diet. The eating itself is merely an invitation to dive in and take a closer look at yourself. Be curious and interested in you! You may just learn something that you didn’t know.
Do you ever find yourself overeating? And if so, can you relate to any of the examples above? Do any of these reasons resonate with you? I’d love to hear your view down in the comments below.
Comments
Samantha says
Hi Dani,
I like what you’re saying. I feel I overeat because my body is craving something else. Sometimes I will have just finished a meal and my body tells me I’m still hungry. I start thinking about all the lovely sweets in my house I could eat (including chocolate chips). But when I was trying to cut back on sweets, I discovered that if I drank 2 glasses of water and waited a minute or two the craving would go away. Therefore, I was really just thirsty, or dehydrated, but for some reason I was having a sweet tooth moment. Are there any other signs cravings tell us about what our bodies are deficient in? For example, when I crave something salty, does that mean my body is lacking something else?
Thanks,
Samantha
Dani says
Yes, there are some possibilities like this. For example, often times craving excess carbohydrates is a sign that you need more protein. BUT at other times, when we eat too many processed carbs this can lead to wanting more carbohydrates as well. At the end of the day there is no “one-size-fits-all’ truth when it comes to nutrition. Everyone has to take the time to learn about themselves and their body;)
Madeleine says
Dani, thanks for this post. When I overeat, which is far more often than any one person should, I have difficulty understanding *why* I’m doing it and why, no matter what I’m eating or how much I’m eating, I never feel satisfied. It’s a frustrating, hopeless state to be in. Which, when it finally does end, leaves me feeling foggy and fatigued. And I suppose it’s worth mentioning that close to 100% of the foods I eat are absolutely considered “clean.” But too much of anything is never healthy (hence the phrase “too much”)…especially when almond butter is involved :-x. Thank you for spelling these points; I can certainly relate every one of them to my eating behaviors! It seems like making an effort to implement awareness into eating habits and just slowing down physically and mentally is an effective first step, which will hopefully bring the next bullets you’ve listed into awareness and understanding.
diana says
Hi Dani, I certainly overeat, but I don’t seem to be able to relate to the options above… I just can’t stand to waste so I finish up my kids’ food or try to leave an empty pan kind of “I’ll have a little more so it’s done”…
maybe it has to do with my education: I wasn’t allowed to leave food on my plate (especially when I started helping myself) and if I did, my mother would keep it and give it to me at the next meal, and the next and the next…
I’m lucky enough not to have a weight issue despite it, but i do feel heavy and sleepy afterwards and hate myself for doing it. Do you have any suggestion? Thank you!
Tatjana says
Hi, I think what you’re saying is true. I have discovered I was overeating a lot more when my kids were little simply because I was not enjoying the hectic dinner time. I would work hard on fixing food and trying to have at least one family meal at the table (I’m a single mom), but of course my 2 boys would not appreciate it (not like adults would of course), After this stressful experience was over and they would finally fall asleep I could finally relax and (over)eat!
Maria says
I think there’s something else. I definitely can relate to the “lack of pleasure” reason, because when life deals me lemons, I eat – and unfortunately it’s not lemons I have turned to, but rather anything from the Publix bakery with buttercream frosting. As a result of this, and genes, and other stuff, I ballooned to 291 pounds by age 46, which is about 2½ times my “normal” weight. Between August 2012 and April 2013, in fits and starts, I had lost 30 pounds by counting calories, but I was always hungry and craving things. In the last couple of months, I’ve learned about GMOs, which led me to learn about whole foods, and hormones in foods, chemicals in foods, etc. I realized that I was eating a lot of chemicals and processed foods, and little in the way of nutrition rich whole foods. A blog I read said that if you would just eat real foods, your weight would be normal and you wouldn’t have to count calories, etc. So I decided to try it – what did I have to lose? I decided that at home, we would only have real, whole, nutrient dense foods. If we went out, we could get what we wanted, but that was the rule at home. From April 2013 to August 2013, I have lost another 30 pounds. I haven’t counted calories, I haven’t deprived myself of anything I’ve wanted bad enough to go out and get it, and I haven’t felt hungry, except when it was almost time for a meal. I think – at least in my case – that the chemicals and additives in the “frankenfoods” I was eating may have been making it impossible to lose the weight!
Dani says
Maria – I think you make some great points! And honestly – my journey is similar to yours in the fact that once I stopped eating ‘diet’ and ‘low-fat’ foods and just focused on nutrient dense real whole foods, my weight stabilized without trying. No calorie counting, no deprivation, – it was pretty effortless. But now a days if I do ever find myself eating when I am not physically hungry, I know it’s usually for some type of emotional reason.
Karen says
Diane,
I’m not Dani, but I think the simple answer would be just to give yourself permission and be ok with throwing out the uneaten food portions that are left on the plate. Otherwise it will continue and your kids may even pick up on your habits and struggle with the same thing too.
Also, if it’s a good bit of food that’s left you can usually store it in the fridge and either mix it in w/another dish or have it w/something else light for another meal. When I cook a meal there’s usually at least one or two days worth of left overs and that’s ok.
Hope this helps. 🙂
judy says
I’m shocked, I saw myself in most all of these. I’ve battled my weight for years. I’m constantly over eating & not realizing it until I’m finished, & by then I’m so stuffed. But I have such strong craving’s for sweets. When I was younger I never even liked them. I have now reached the pinnacle of weight that I can’t ‘afford’, so to speak to gain any more, I’m 90 lb.’s over weight, & have all the ‘disease’s’ that go along w/it! I could come off of most all the med’s I’m on IF I lost this weight. Why do I stay hungry all the time (even when I’m full)? I don’t know how to help myself! Thank’s for listening.
JUDY says
Judy- My name is Judy too. I have struggled with all of the eating disorders all of my life among many other vices, not realizing, it was all a matter of NOT LOVing myself unconditionally. I starting praying and doing nice things for myself, like getting real rest and sleep, exercising and participating in fun activities. I pray about and for answers on why I would even be drawn to put things in my mouth that will not benefit me or would actually sabotage or destroy my good efforts. I do not always get the exact answer, but I know that when I feel that I am right with myself and with GOD, I do not have the desire to overeat or eat ‘nonsense foods’. The desire to sabotage and make unhealthy decisions ceases with prayer and conscience effort to enjoy and use food for fuel and the way GOD intended for it to be used. Cookies have never tasted SO good, but now I can enjoy one or two- I don’t need the whole box or have to feel any type of guilt or regret in eating dessert or pizza.
Linda says
This is a really different way of looking at it ! I have struggled with my weight for 30 years. 50 lbs overweight..just turned 60 !very happy person! But… Can you imagine?!?! Thinking about this controllable issue for 30 years!!! I tried looking at your reasons. They ALL make sence ! Every day…..I CARE and think about it…but every day….I DON’t CARE…and think about it! Make sence? I try different methods every week….low carb, weight watchers, herbal life, calorie counting…..the list goes on! I sometimes think I need mental help! Is my issue one of your reasons Dani?
maria martinez says
Hello Dany,
My name is Maria. I’ve watched almost all your videos they really help me and my family too. I start eating better. Thank you I really admired you. Two months ago I started making your recipies and I m not more and any kind of diet ever since I feel better and I dont have to deprive my self anymore. However sometimes I feel hungry constantly evendough I eat my regular meals and drink water. What can I do ?
Csilla says
I agree, De-stress is a big reason. Just like yourself being health focused nutritionist, I am fascinated by how the human body can reverse health conditions with simple nutritious diet. I am sure you’ve heard of that many organs and tissues that were not widely considered part of the classic endocrine system in the past have important endocrine functions. Interestingly the more adipose tissue you have the more you are ‘ craving ‘ foods and seems like it is a vicious circle. Of course I always believed that even if all odds against you as long as you make a conscious effort you can stay healthy.
Another thing I noticed (note this is a personal observation) that people who grew up with parents who eat healthy have a very relaxed relationship with food, they tend not to stress too much about food and can have a conversation and have a bite here and there like food is not even that important, so you would say they have ‘ Lack of awareness’ but somehow long after I finished my meal these individuals still have a lot left. This is something I envy a lot, to have that relaxed relationship with food and still not overeating must be nice. I hope I will be able to teach healthy eating habits to my little one.
Naomi Hollis says
Dani I want to thank you for your wonderful words not just on this topic but also about dieting etc. i think in order for myself to heal I need to break free of the chains that have been holding me.
I have been a constant dieter since I was a child not understanding the damage it would do later in life. I was a very sick child up until I had my tonsils removed, that is when I gained weight excessively. I remember being restricted food from 7 following with diet shakes and all sorts of other things which come high school I began to obsess over food and if I ate this or that I would get fat. I seen myself as huge. Welcome to the beginning of my battle of an eating disorder. I would restrict food and binge to the point I’d make myself sick. I battled this roller coaster from 13-30. Since seeing the damage I had to try break free due to I refused to ever let my daughters to go down that road. On crept the weight and leaving me depressed somehow I managed to fall pregnant this year so I’m currently 17 weeks severely overweight and I felt that is it no more dieting no more roller coasters of misconceptions I need to break free and be healthy and learn about real food not something out of a box filled with god knows what, that will send my children’s behaviour over the top. That is when I found your channel and blog. I have to thank you Dani for the moment of my relisation I know you are not to restrict food while pregnant but as you said intuitive eating and out right healthy whole foods is not restricting it is probably giving me something better as well as my family.
I have to ask the companies that you promote for the clean products you endorse is there any chance that they ship to Australia. Some I have found don’t and I know you represent some of them maybe you could sway there shipping destinations so your abroad followers can benefit too??
Anita says
Dani, or anybody else reading this, the reasons for me is number 3 and on. But what do I do to fix those?? I really need to fix those. My dad says to just breathe and meditate but that’s kind of hard. Everything is too hard. No I must be able to do this