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Day Eight: Project Investigation – Wanting vs. Needing

After one week of journaling my food and thoughts I am truly amazed at the things I have been uncovering about myself.

Here’s how my Sunday went (yes, I’m one day behind here!!).

Weight:

133 – Isn’t that just so perfect?  After my first week of journaling I’ve gained a pound.

Moving forward…

FOOD:

6:30 coffee with half and half & a slice of Ezekiel toast with coconut oil

8:30am – 2 small pancakes and granola.

2pm – 1/2 turkey sammie, carrots & selery

6:30pm – Lots of veggies, kale, broccoli, salad with some chicken

7:30pm – 2 sqauers dark chocolate, small cup of popcorn

This was the BEST, lazy day ever.  Was pouring rain here in LA and we all just hungout and did nothing.  Lots of reading, journaling, snuggling, anf hanging. It was AH-mazing! Best. Day. Ever.

MOVEMENT:

None.  Unless you consider cuddling movement?

REST:

Went to sleep around 10pm and woke at 6:30 – that was a great nights sleep!

MIND:

After my AHA the other day, I realized after writing it out, I seemed to be running in circles a bit.

Here’s what I wrote:

After writing out MY WHY and getting really clear on the fact that I am after a feeling and not a look, I realized that on some level I still believed that I wanted to create the feeling in order to create the look?  Does that make sense?

In some corner of my brain I was still holding on the idea that the ‘look’ is what I was after.

Ok- SO when I went to the gym today, the first thing my trainer said was, “Wait, so I don’t get the last post you wrote.  Do you want the look or don’t you want the look?”

I had to laugh, b/c I know my AHA post was kind of running in one big circle.  So let me clarify….

What I was trying to say was this:  I realized that I was giving all the (my) power to the look.

In some corner of my brain (and this was pretty unconcious) I believed the look would make me better.  More valauble.  More worthy.

This realization made me feel much less ‘desperate’ to achieve the look because I was no longer defining my personal value based upon achieving or not achiveing a physical apperance.

Does that make sense?

It’s the difference between needing something b/c you think on some level it will make you better, happier, etc AND wanting something simply because you like it and would enjoy it.

Now with that being said, YES… I would still LOVE the look.

But not because it would make me any more or less valuable as a human being but simply because I would enjoy it!

Just like I would a new pair of boots.

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5 Responses to “Day Eight: Project Investigation – Wanting vs. Needing”

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    liz — March 26, 2012 @ 10:47 pm

    hi dani,

    as im following your posts, i couldnt help but think of our conversation before i got married. about how i wanted to lose 5-10 lbs before the wedding. you had asked what was the purpose for losing the extra weight since no one was going to even notice. i can certainly relate to your posts and mostly for me, exercise and eating well helps me to feel good about myself and be more secure with my own self image.

    i always wonder sucking in your stomach is considered a norm here but other parts of the world leave their bellies relaxed and accept it.

    i am now in northern california but wish you were here to get back on my nutritional/well being path!

    hope youre doing well.

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      Dani — March 29, 2012 @ 8:26 pm

      Hi Liz – SO great to hear from you! It is a fascinating little game our mind plays, isn’t it? Like somehow those few lbs creates some greater value in us. The truth is, we need to recognize that the value is there right NOW – for real, and then the weight seems so much less significant. Ya know?

      As I head into the end of this certification courseI am taking, I will be looking for 6 clients to practice with. LEt me know if you’re interested… I’d love to work together again! xo

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    Dynamics — March 26, 2012 @ 11:17 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I love that you are learning. It’s amazing what you can learn from writing it down, like the day with no veggies. Who would have thought. Keep up the good work Dani!

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      Dani — March 29, 2012 @ 8:27 pm

      Thanks Dynamics! It really is interesting to see what you can learn by simply writing things down and then looking back without judgement. Just curiosity.

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    Liz — March 29, 2012 @ 9:00 pm

    Dani – I would definitely be interested in being 1 of your 6 practice clients! I would like to continue with it afterwards as well. Thank you for sharing your journey! Let’s connect soon!

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